New Site, New Blog!

 It's been more than ten years since I've posted anything on this blog site. I have stockpiled stories over these years and have thought of posting them... but things got busy... I got busy... Life went on...

And now, I have a new platform for my writing. It's here:

https://carolehisasue.substack.com/

It's no longer anonymous, as far as the writer (me!) is concerned, although to protect the privacy and innocence of those around me, I may use aliases for others.

I hope you enjoy the new stuff!

MUCH LOVE

Off Again

Looks like it might be another good year for apricots.

It's turned into the most satisfying month at the ranch. Oh, sure, there were days when I felt…a bit off, especially when my routine was disturbed with other work, visitors or Big Dog. But with everything looking so wonderful and healthy, I couldn't help but be Very Happy. Plus, there has been a wealth of yummy things to harvest: asparagus, artichokes, cardoons, greens, salad stuff, carrots, wild garlic, lemons, oranges, radishes, leeks… (No mushrooms, however, despite a bit more rain last week.) There's even some tobacco growing out of the ground in our greenhouse!

Big Dog was completely distracted with RV matters, trying to get the vehicle in shape, finally. Turned out it didn't have a spare tire, nor did it have a sewer connection/hose. Some lights were out. Some warning lights were on. We finally flushed out the antifreeze so we could use the water system. And he was obsessed with Where To Go Next.

He wanted to leave at the beginning of April but it's one thing to drive 6000 miles without a spare tire when you don't even know that it's not there and quite a different thing to be foolhardy enough to take off without one. The wheel had to be found online. Then there was the wait as it traveled from Minnesota or Missouri or some other far-away state.

We drove through this...

And this...

And this, all without a spare tire.

It finally arrived yesterday so it looks like we are taking off again. Today, I will go around the property, making sure everyone will be okay during our absence. I'll pick what I can of the fava beans (I'll miss the major harvest but hopefully that will give me plenty of seeds,) make sure everyone will get enough water, say goodbye to my furry friends…

New grass at the ranch!

Food Porn

You know how much I love talking about, thinking about, and playing with food. Now, I have another venue for this passion.

The website (centralcoastgrown.org) where I wrote farm and ranch profiles last year is now posting my articles on different kinds of produce. The first one was on persimmons, now long gone from my orchard.

I've been busy with pieces on napa cabbage and brussels sprouts but I might have missed that season already. The fields that were packed with giant growing brussels sprouts have been cleared and are getting ready to be planted with something else.

This is the way Brussels sprouts grow.

Napa is an elegant lady...

 In between the many recent guests we've had, I experimented with different recipes, as well as food photography. I can see that I'm better at taking photos of the actual produce. Or maybe it's a problem of food styling rather than photo techniques. And I am learning that some recipes sound so good but either don't come out tasting as good as they sound, or they turn out less photogenic than desired.

I need food styling lessons.

Some bloggers are so good at food porn.

Springtime at the Ranch

We're back. Still alive and with weeks of all sorts of adventures under our belts.

Freezing in Chicago!

I'm trying to set up a blog site for our RV adventure but you can read about what I did right after the RV trip, here. 

Spring is here!

Great year for roses.

Now, it is back to Ranch Life. And thanks to recent rains, the hills are green again! Our creek is still dry on one side, but the trees seem to be doing alright, with peach, nectarine, plum and apple blossoms in varying degrees of bloom. No mushrooms, however, and I am suspecting we may not see any this season.

Tomato seeds I planted before we left on the Crazy Adventure have sprouted and I am getting ready to set up my summer garden while Big Dog counts the days until he can do the Big Burn of last year's clippings.

Colder Than Mars

"Yeah, I can't believe we're going into the 'polar vortex,'" I've been telling everyone. Including "Juan" at Trader Joe's yesterday who casually mentions that Chicago is "colder than Mars now."

Big Dog had just read that it was colder than the South Pole. Now it's colder than MARS?!

California's been having the most spectacular heatwave. A week or so ago, our Central Coast area was THE warmest place in the U.S. Hotter than Hawaii; hotter than Puerto Rico. I look up at the gorgeous blue cloudless skies and pray for rain. Only in my dreams are the hills changing color to their normal winter green.

So why the heck are we flying into the Deep Freeze?

I have never been in that kind of cold in my life. When my friend in Chicago tells me, "It's not that bad: temps have gone up to 9 degrees" I don't even know how to feel. What's the difference between minus 19 and just plain 9 degrees? I can't imagine anything colder than, say, 30 degrees, so anything below it is still fantasy land for me.

My father used to tell us how cold it was during the winters in Manchuria. He and his older brother loved to tell us it was so cold they had to take a hammer to the bathroom "because your pee would freeze and you'd have to knock it loose from your pecker." We believed them.

I am frightened. And when I am this scared, I am also terribly excited. As if I were getting ready to go to Mars.

Ten Year Anniversary

I don't remember the exact date I left Japan, but I quit all of my live radio shows in December of 2003 and I did one last gig on New Year's Eve of that year. I still had a few obligations in Tokyo and I continued to do specials on radio and tv for the next several years, but my days of being trapped in Tokyo because of regular radio and television shows was over.

A few days of wrapping things up and I was off to the Philippines where Big Dog and I began our Post-Japan Adventures.

Us dogs at play!

Land of Spectacular Sunsets

Wish this was our house...

That was ten years and many adventures ago.

To commemorate our ten years of freedom, what do the Dogs do? Buy an RV! And not just any RV but one on eBay that we have never really seen, been inside or driven; one that is in Chicago, THE coldest place on the planet right now. And we're going to drive it through the ice and snow… "from the midnight sun where the hot springs flow… our only goal will be the western shore… aaaaaaaaaaah - ah!" (Better pack that Led Zeppelin CD…)

Happy Year of The Horse

No, not that Neil Young movie. It's the Year of the Horse in the Chinese Zodiac, silly.

Time to run wild, run free.

Surviving Christmas with Altered Barbies

I survived another Christmas. Yay!

"Don't be such a Scrooge," Big Dog would often tell me seeing me with my brow furrowed, glaring at all the shoppers. Rampant commercialism makes me sad…and mad. I'm a terrible shopper and being pressured by custom to shop does not make me happy. Even at normal times I would prefer to do anything BUT shop, however, as we approach Christmas, the mood of materialism on steroids keeps me from even thinking about entering a store.

I make all of our gifts. I grew up around a lot of handmade things -- my mother was a terrific seamstress and knitter -- so it's all very normal for me, but I guess for some, handmade gifts feel "cheap" or "sorry." Big Dog's family is sick of my ranch-made items, for sure.

"This is all I could get you guys this year," apologized BD's nephew's mother-in-law.

"You don't need to get us anything!" we protested. I mean, really, no one needs to get holiday gifts for one's son-in-law's uncle! When I saw it was a homemade baked good, I was surprised. What does she mean "this is all"? To me, a gift that has someone's time and effort is so much better than a mass-produced-in-China-by-questionable-labor-store-bought thing. But I guess for them, it is not.

And then I hear about "plus-size Barbie."

Why not. And while we're at it, why not Menopausal Barbie, Bulimic Barbie, Anorexic Barbie, Pussy Whipper Barbie. I think we already have Gold Digger Barbie.

Years ago I drew a cartoon of Bi-polar Barbie. ("I'm sad! I'm mad!" Just like me at Christmas-time!) Yes, it's in terrible taste when you consider that real bi-polar disorder is complicated and painful, but I think a lot of women go through a bi-polar phase (like during menopause) so why not let your kids play with a real-life figure?

I'm thinking of other real-life Barbies we could but don't have: Goth Barbie, Metal Barbie, Stoner Barbie. Panhandler Barbie, Meth Lab Barbie, Convict Barbie, Welfare Barbie… Steampunk Barbie, Anarchist Barbie, Activist Barbie… 

Hmm. Looks like others have been thinking of them, too.

Metal. or Punk Barbies

Birthing Barbie!

Anorexic Barbie

Bulimic Barbie

Not sure what she is. Skank Barbie?

And, of course, Stoner Barbie

There's even a community for people who love Altered Barbies!

Check out the artwork! 

Love the "Pinebie," the child of Barbie and Pinecone. And someone's even got a Suicide Barbie! I'll bet there are Pedophile Barbies and Crazy Stalker Barbies, Frivolous Lawsuit Barbies… My head's starting to spin. 

Like Exorcist Barbie.