Full Circle

I think it was earlier this year. I came across Alicia Bay-Laurel's website.

If you grew up during the 70's you might be familiar with her book "Living on the Earth." Or maybe "Being of the Sun." Alicia lived on a commune and wrote beautifully hand-scripted, illustrated manuals.

Reading how Alicia wanted to one day learn Japanese compelled me to write to her. I told her that her books became a sort of inner guide as I navigated through the time and space of Tokyo. During the following decades, as I worked in the World of Media, that guide faded into the background, but one day, as I was cleaning out my mother's attic, I found my old, beat-up copies of her books. How crazy, I thought. Look at me now. Trying to "live on the earth" much as I had dreamed all those years ago. "I feel like I've come full circle," I emailed her. And that I would be happy to assist in any language related matters.

It read like a dumb fan letter. Ready to be ignored. But, no! I got a lovely, warm reply and we started exchanging emails. She made me feel like I had known her for ages. (Actually I HAD! I just had to wait more than 3 decades for her to know me!)

And then the synchronicities started flooding in. We had mutual friends! And now we were going to be in Japan at the same time!

We met in Japan for the first time, although for me it was like reconnecting with an old friend, as the synchronicities kept adding up. Not only had I come full circle, but the circle (en) of connections (en) kept growing. Keeps growing.

But, why should I be surprised? We are ALL connected...really...in the en(d).

(Indigo plant from Alisha and my new friend, B.'s yard. He uses it to dye his silk, made the traditional way.)

Viagra from Beyond

While clearing out SPAM from an email account I rarely use I come across an email from my poet friend who passed away last year. I think it's just SPAM disguised as Roberto through some kind of computer virus, but the thought of him trying to sell Viagra from beyond made me smile.

My Personal Lava Lamp

The floater is still there, like a lava lamp blob today. My own personal lava lamp!

I've always believed that physical problems are merely symptoms of inner problems so I tend to look at them metaphorically. My current eye condition is driving me crazy as I wonder what I could possibly be "turning a blind eye to" or what truth am I trying not to see?

I just can't figure it out. All I can do is zone out and enjoy my floating blob.

Beware the Floater!

And I'm not talking about the kind that you find in your toilet bowl. (Not everything I talk about is scatological, Big Dog, despite what you may think.)

I first noticed it on Saturday. A little black floater in my left eye. It was like a pesky fruit fly -- I kept swatting at the air, trying to get it to fly away.
"If it weren't in my dominant eye, it wouldn't bother me as much, but this sucks," I complained to Big Dog's sister who was staying at the ranch with her husband.

The next day, it had shifted shape and location, but it was still there. By Wednesday, it was joined by several buddies, some of whom were like shreds of pretty black lace. That was when I also noticed that my left eye was looking through a ProMist filter. (That's what we used to use on our video cameras to give the picture a film grain.) AND neutral density filter.

Actually, it was more like a piece of really dirty 8mm film. Life through an unwashed windscreen (whoops, that's "windshield" for you Americans.)

So I started doing a little research and found out that the medical term for floaters is "posterior vitreous detachment" and is normally caused by bits of vitreous gel coming loose inside your eye. "A normal aging phenomenon" the article said, depressing me somewhat. I actually LIKE the idea of getting older because I don't necessarily equate added years with added wear and tear. Now it looked like what I had was a sign of premature aging! Wearing out too soon! Rusting away from misuse! But the article also added that in a small percentage of cases, it was also a symptom of retinal tear or retinal detachment that, if left untreated, could cause blindness.

Being a very visual person, the idea of losing my sight scared me into making an appointment with an ophthalmologist immediately and so off I went to see Dr. O.

Dr. O was as gentle as could be, but I was still gripping the armrests as he poked and prodded me in the eye.

This is what I felt like:


And -- surprise, surprise -- it turned out that my condition was not a "normal aging phenomenon" but a result of retinal tear! It should have made me pleased ("Oh, so these wrinkles AREN'T a sign of aging but a terrible skin condition? Great!") but the thought of going through more "Clockwork Orange" kept elation at bay.

It didn't take long and here I am, back home again with my retina welded back into place, vision a little blurry but at least still there. With the pupil dilated to the max, my left eye looks very trippy! I should go and fashion myself a pirate's eye patch. Yaarrrr.