Saturday, June 09, 2007

Peaceful Anonymity

It's been a spectacularly sunny Saturday. We've had some pretty windy days and they haven't completely let up but the hills around us are protecting our little valley today.

Yesterday, I got some screen mesh to build a one-way "doggie door" for the bats. Hopefully they can get out and NOT get back in! And I spent waaaaay too much time on the internet trying to book apartments and cottages in rural France, Paris and Amsterdam for our summer stay. More on that in another entry. It got me a little depressed, sitting in front of my PowerBook (which now closes, thanks to some gentle pounding -- is that an oxymoron?) instead of being outside on such a breathtaking day. By the time I just huffed away from the screen and went outside, I was already feeling vaguely unhappy.

But we are not pressed with ranch work right now, "Red" the original caretaker of this ranch who is moving back with his wife called from Paso Robles saying they'd be here in an hour, and Big Dog has gotten out his guitar. It ALWAYS makes me happy to hear him play and sing. Every time he can feel relaxed enough to play his guitar these days is a good day! iIt's what made me fall in love with him…a quarter century ago has it been that long? (you have to read that in one breath) He's moved onto a melancholy version of American Pie but when I started this, he was into Like A Rolling Stone. Funny how that song is like my theme song. It really describes the way I feel! And strangely enough, I felt like that all my life. Even when I was stuck in Tokyo in a high octane life, in the public eye, a minor celebrity of sorts. Maybe that was why I was so unhappy then. My inner life and outer life were so at odds with each other. Now, I live in peaceful anonymity…like a rolling stone…so alone…no direction home………………

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