Saturday, January 27, 2007

…and then, just as suddenly, he was gone...

Big Bro passed away yesterday morning. Suddenly. Cardiac arrest, they say. Big Dog is devastated, as is his entire family.

I am…numb. I am always numb when people close to me die. I don't think I've cried because of a person's death since my father died when I was 18. Even then, I remember being angrier than sad. People always talk about how we're on borrowed time, how you never know what may happen, that life is short so you gotta make the best of it, but few people actually live like this. Maybe it was the trauma of my father's death but that thought has never been very far from the surface of my mind.

A few years ago, Big Bro got laid off from his job. That was the first Summer of Renovation -- 3 months up in Arcata trying to renovate Big Dog's old Victorian -- and we were on our way north when we stopped by Dog Town and heard the bad news. Big Dog asked his brother if he would come up with us and help on the renovation and to our surprise, he agreed.

It was the first time I was able to witness the amazing bond these brothers had.
"Why would you doubt it?" Big Dog might ask, but never having seen them together in such close proximity, I never imagined how deep and fat and true their bond was.

"What a blessing in disguise," I thought to myself last night, in bed, "for Big Dog to have had the chance for such a good stretch of intense and intimate time with his brother."
And for me, to be able to be there with them! We were also able to see how close and caring Big Bro and his wife were with each other, what a tight, special relationship they had.

Big Dog has an emptiness in his heart that will never be filled, but we all miss him deeply.

2 Comments:

Anonymous shimmery footsteps said...

i am so sorry to hear the news.
you and BD are in my heart. may BB rest in peace.

4:04 PM  
Blogger bad-dog said...

thank you so much for your kind thoughts.

11:07 PM  

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